It’s Friday Night. You just Got Paid. You Pregamed. What’s next? Dancing at Da Club!
You put your last swipe of lip gloss on, primp your hair, make sure your boobs look plump and even; especially the lazy one that sort of juts off to the right. You put your gel insoles in your heeled boots and you’re out; out to dance the night away. You get to the spot. The music is BANGING! They are playing your favorite Biggie song. Coat Check is only $2. A price that is do-able. You start heading over to the bar. But, Wait! You can’t make it. You’re trapped. You can’t move. Some dude is wearing a backpack. No wait. There are at least 3 of them wearing Hershel bags in the club. You look left. There is that creep that’s been eye-ing you since you stepped in. He’s on the prowl and he is foreign. Not the sexy, interesting, foreign. He’s the, “You are too motherfucking close to me and placing your arm around my lower back is a NO-NO” foreign. How do you get to the bar? How can you dance when there are so many obstacles in your way.
Brush up on some dance club etiquette before you leave the house. Do it for me. Do it for the dope chick/guy you are trying to take home that night. Most importantly, do it for yourself. Don’t fraud at the club. You will play yourself. Here are some club etiquette tips. Read and take heed:
- Don’t wear a backpack to a small, crowded lounge/bar. It’s rude, unnecessary, and it blocks dance room space. WTF are you even carrying in the bag late, at 2AM? Take your ass home after work, change, and go back to the club.
- Try not to spill your drink by holding onto your drink. I need to save up quarters for laundry. Let’s keep it real. If I can recycle a shirt, let me recycle it and hope that there is no beer or Vodka Cranberry on it. I mean, dang.
- Don’t just air grind behind the person you want to dance with. Ask them to dance! It’s really awkward to be dancing and then notice that someone is exactly 3 feet behind you, swaying with you, bouncing with you, almost hovering over you and not speak with you. Paranormal Activity anyone? Just ask. They most likely will say yes. Judgement free.
- Get drunk enough to enjoy Reggae hour. Its coming. You know once they play Sean Paul, its a wrap. Enjoy it. Or take the time to use the bathroom and grab a drink.
- If the club is crowded and you have to slightly nudge a slew of people to get the bathroom, try to say excuse me. It’s nicer and you might not get a drink spilled on you . See rule #2.
- Lastly, try to not take anything you see or hear around you seriously. It’s a club night. So enjoy life. 🙂
Listen to the new Justin Timberlake song, ‘Suit & Tie’, which you will most likely hear out. It’s the lead single to his comeback album. His forray back into music and a break from his bad acting…
Conundrums With Connie 